Cliché Greeting,

Thanks for the emails this week everyone, helps me a lot here when I know what's going on with you guys. So yeah, I really appreciate you all taking the time out of your lives to write me!

So I hear Jake's Farewell and JT's homecoming went really well? That's good news. I was just surprised to hear that Jake actually ended up speaking and not hiding in the women's bathroom until sacrament ended.

I am glad to hear BYU pulled it out in the 3rd quarter to beat AFA. I want a in depth break-down of the game against Utah this Sat!

So this week was a red-letter week for me in several ways:

1. I ate my first meal at a member's house that didn't have rice and beans (it was tacos and they were delicious).
2. I saw my first mugging! I was so excited and I literally thought of this exact moment I am writing you guys while watching it. I was like "sweet I get to tell everyone I saw some helpless dude get mugged!" We were about to cross a street Sunday night when L. Sousa stuck his arm out in front of me and told me to stop. So I looked up across the street and there was 2 guys beating up on this one guy (wasn't really brutal at all actually they were just kind of shoving him) until the guy reached in his pocket and gave them some money out of his wallet and his cell phone too. I really did want to help but it happened so fast and the 2 took off running before I even realized what happened. L. Sousa said that he wouldn't have let me because we didn't know if they had a weapon or not. Anyway, so we went over and consoled the frightened 25-year-oldish Bolivian (you can always tell if they are Bolivians because they all look the same) then just left because there was nothing else to do. I felt bad for him though because his eyes were really as wide as dinner plates and I wouldn't have been surprised if I had smelt urine.
3. I had my first Zone Conference last Thursday. We had 3 zones there (about 70 missionaries) and it was different than I expected. First off it was about 6 hours long...sitting in a chapel the whole time. Second, it was very logistically based. We talked a lot about money, health, and rules. And third, apparently every zone conference all the "old" missionaries that will leave before the next zone conference and all the "new" missionaries, like me, have to get up and bear their testimony in either Portuguese or English depending on which is your first language (if your first is English then you bear it in Portuguese and vice versa). So anyway, we all got up and some Brazilian Elder got up and bore his in English then my two friends from the CTM Elder Fabian and Elder Bigelow got up and bore theirs. So I was the only "new" Elder left that had to bear his testimony before the "old" missionaries went. So I got up and said (in Portuguese of course) "Well I guess I will be the first old missionary to bear their testimony..." which I thought was really funny because I speak such horrible Portuguese. Anyway, everyone that knew me laughed but those who didn't know me didn't really get the joke so it didn't really get the resounding laughter that I thought the joke warranted. Anyway, I hadn't really thought past the initial joke so I stumbled through my Portuguese testimony and sat down. L. Sousa loved the joke so at least I got him on my side and no one else matters but your companion right?
4. First time I hit anyone in the face on my mission. There is this kid in our ward that is 16 years-old and he loves to hit me for no reason other than I am white, can't speak Portuguese, and bigger than most people he has ever seen in real life. Anyway, so I never do anything when hits me because I am a missionary and it doesn't really hurt because he is weak. So we were at Stake Conference this Sunday and I was resting my arm on the back of my chair and he was sitting behind me. He went to hit me but before he did Elder Martinatto said "don't do it because he might actually hit you back one of these times." The kid chose not to believe him and punched my arm and right as his hand hit my arm I back-handed him in the face. I unfortunately did it a lot harder than I probably should have and his eye got a little swollen, but it really was hilarious and I couldn't stop laughing for a while. OK, not really a story worth telling but I thought it was really funny.

OK, enough with the "firsts" thing now and I'll actually tell a "missionary"-type story. It was actually a really awesome experience that I probably won't forget. It is kind of long so this is the short version. We had taught this family (Paulo, Priscilla, and their son) two times and the lessons were OK, not that great though. So we didn't go back for about two weeks until Monday night when we decided to try teaching them again. So we decided to teach them about the Priesthood and how we have a Prophet on the earth today. So we started teaching him and in the beginning of the lesson he (Paulo) had a lot of questions and a lot of doubts about what we were teaching. We tried to share scriptures for every doubt he had but it wasn't quite convincing him. So in the beginning of the lesson it was really loud and we went back and forth talking a lot.

But near the end of the lesson I am not sure why it happened but all of the sudden everything changed. L. Sousa was talking about our prophet Thomas S. Monson we have today when all of the sudden it just got a lot quieter. L. Sousa dropped his voice and talked nearly at a whisper and started to bear his testimony about the priesthood. The spirit literally filled the entire room. Paulo stopped talking and his eyes were glued to L. Sousa. Sousa finished his testimony then looked over at me, bidding me to bear mine as well. Paulo slowly turned his head to look at me. I looked at him and started to bear my testimony about a lot of things that I don't quite remember. The amazing thing was that I knew I was saying some stuff wrong, and usually when that happens the investigator will look away because they don't understand, but Paulo didn't look away once. His eyes were moist and we both stared at each other while I told him that I know the church is true and that is the only reason that I was sitting in front of him on that day, the only reason I am here in Brazil.

So I finished talking after a couple minutes or so and then looked back to L. Sousa. Sousa said "Paulo, will you come to church with us this Sunday?" He had refused the previous two visits but this time he looked at us for a while, unable to speak, then he slowly turned his head to his wife and all he could say was "Yeah, can we?" It was really hilarious actually. She said that they could and so we will be teaching them again this Friday and taking them to church on Sunday. It was the best lesson I have had so far in Brazil, and hopefully not the last.

Oh yeah and on a different note did I mention that my ward is the ward that nearly all the instructors from the CTM attend? You would think this would be a good thing like I originally did but it has turned out to be horrible. Nearly all the instructors are "super missionaries" and would rather be serving missions their whole life then accept that they actually should be beginning theirs.

Anyway, so because of this they try to re-live their missions through us, and since they are instructors at the CTM they obviously know SO much more than we do so they always go behind our backs to the Ward-Mission Leader (who is actually one of my instructors from the CTM, Irmão Nasciamento), the Bishop, and other missionaries and complain about all the things they think we are doing wrong. It really is so annoying. We went to the adult-session of Stake Conference on Saturday and were severely chastised for that because it was "precious time we could have been working." Chill out! It's Stake Conference! It tells us in the missionary handbook we should be attending it! So annoying.

Well I guess I will end there. If this somehow gets to you guys before Jake leaves tell him that he will love a mission and to just have fun. I see missionaries out here that are way too serious all the time and they are no fun to be around. When L. Sousa and I are working, we work. But you don't have to be a stiff to have a strong testimony and the ability to teach effectively. I say this because Jake just needs to lighten up a bit you know? He is just way to serious about everything, especially the gospel :). Anyway, I will send him emails through Ryan or someone while he is in the CTM. Love you all, hopefully your lives continue to deliver you all boundless blessings...later!

-Elder Brent Parsons