Cliche Warm-Greeting,
So there we were on Wednesday, my companion and I just walking down the stairs (456 times now if you were wondering, a slow week with only 56) and then all of the sudden he stops on the landing and turns to me and says "It's probably because you don't push enough air out of your nose." I literally had no idea what he was talking about so I asked him and he said "Oh, you just have a really nasally voice and it's probably because you don't send enough air through your nose when you talk." As you can imagine I was bewildered by this statement and I found myself at a complete loss for words. I have not thought of swearing much at the CTM but this was a time that warranted it. Anyway, I of course just said "thank you" and the answer seemed to satisfy him and we went back to our previous conversation. Let's just say the whole situation would have been a little different had we not been in a dedicated building...
On other news I learned how to say "Alysha is the worst" in Portuguese this week. An unbelievably useful statement. "Alysha é o pior." Highlight of my week. Of course you could substitute Ben's name into the statement as well if you so desire.
So we got new Brazilian roommates this week and at the beginning of the week I truly thought they hated us. First off, they disrupted the "Little America" thing we had going in our room, the only place that truly felt American, and then they come in...with their souls all cold and what not. But they actually turned out to be really cool and I talked with one of them till late last night. They were probably just nervous because of the guard towers and the dogs that patrol the halls at night and the doors locking automatically at 10:30 and the bars on the windows and the rules and the teachers that always have something to criticize no matter how well you think you did on something and the near-brawls that break out in 'the yard' and stuff like that. Just kidding...only some of those are true.
I have been asked by several people about the weather and the food here. The food is actually pretty good. Rice, beans, chicken and beef are pretty much all we eat. They are prepared in different ways obviously but those are usually the basics. Sometimes we get potatoes and yesterday we actually had a pleasant treat. It was a shish-ka-bob (literally no idea how to spell that) with straight-up alternating fried hot dog with fried cheese. Unbelievably delicious. The more you feel like an untamed man while eating the better the food usually is.
The weather is SO nice. My first weeks here is a was pretty warm...like low 90's. But the last few weeks have been amazing. Usually in the high 70's to low 80's with some cloud cover. Today we explored the city (we didn't go to the temple today to the enjoyment of our district because the temple takes up over half the p-day. So we were just reading in our rooms and doing laundry and stuff since 6:30 this morning until 9:30 when we came out here and started exploring). The mission handbook has set out a boundary for us around the CTM that we can't go outside of. It's pretty big though and in all our weeks here we have not had the time to go explore it because of the temple but this week we had time so this morning we went and explored a bit, it's really cool. We just passed this store that literally was about 2 feet wide at the entrance and 20 feet into the building. It was tiny. They should have sold midget clothing or something but they were selling stuffed animals. I guess they realize only children want them so they should make it a children size store. The area is pretty cool though.
Oh yeah Dad I forgot to wish you a happy birthday...so HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I was just remembering the story from last year when I was calling our insurance company posing as you and they asked me what "my" (your) birthday was and I totally couldn't remember. Then in the most heart-wrenching coincidence in the world it happened to actually be your birthday that day! So I called you up like an idiot and was like "Dad I totally forgot your birthday and I am sorry but I need to know in order to tell the insurance guy!" Then you just laughed at me and reminded me that it was actually on that day. Man I felt like an idiot. Just thought I would remind you how stupid your little son is and that with that small amount of brain power he has to live on his own in the fifth largest city in the world for the next two years. Confidence builder!
Oh yeah Mom/Dad I just got your package on Sunday. SWEET! Literally. I was so excited when I opened it. Thank you so much. I saw how much it cost to spend dad...yeah definitely a flat rate package next time. Thank you though I really appreciate it and the midget picture was priceless. The guys in my district were so confused when they saw those pictures of the midget and Samuel L. Jackson.
Well it was kind of a boring/hard week. We had 2 Portuguese milestones (lessons that you have to teach your instructor at the end of each week). Elder Blackham and I taught the Portuguese Lesson 1 (Restoration) - Full (30-45 min, we go for 30) and we also taught Portuguese Lesson 2 (Plan of Salvation) - Medium (15 min). Then we had TRC on Saturday where we taught a real volunteer Brazilian family lesson 1...busy week. It's hard and annoying to prepare the lessons, especially in Portuguese, but that's what we will be doing for two years so we better just start now.
Last week was boring and during boring times is when the good quotes start coming. Here are some of them:
Some Elder: "I think the bus ride to São Paulo Temple is about 30 min."
Elder Perry: "No it's about 45 min. I think you are still measuring time pounds."
Elder Perry: "There is not enough riddelin in the world for this district."
Me: (Talking to the Elder who threw up on the bus and all over his clothes) "Why didn't you change your pants after you got vomit all over them?"
Elder who threw up: "All my other pants were dirty." (WHAT?)
Elder Perry: "We were having such and unproductive class until Elder Parsons mentioned necrophilia...then I just wanted to study the gospel."
Elder Korth: "A woman outside the kitchen is a danger to herself and those around her."
Elder Perry: "My guilt for not doing anything this week has reached an all-time high."
Elder Perry: "We only started killing the Indians when they stopped accepting beads as payment."
Elder Windley: (While in the classroom) "Sorry, I wasn't paying attention."
Elder Perry: "How can you not pay attention! We are in a 12x5 room!"
Anyway, that's all I can think of telling you. Please keep writing. Thank you everyone that has wrote me. Thank you for the letters Laura Buchanan and Jenny and Trevor. Tell Connor I loved his picture. I love you all.
-Elder Brent Parsons
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
400!
What's Good!? (Thank you for reminding me of that Jake...)
Wow so I received tons of emails this week, which was awesome, but I am definitely not going to have time to respond to everyone. Just know that I am extremely appreciative of all the support I am getting and that I love all of your emails. I have not yet received the package you sent me mom/dad, but it should be here today or tomorrow so I will thank you in advance for it...I have to pay some candy back to some people.
To start off I would just like to announce that Elder Blackham and I as of the trip over here have gone up or down the stairs 400 times since arriving at the CTM. It may not seem like a big deal to you all but you got to take what you can get here. Let's just say there is a small party with little noise and no slang that's going to be happenin' in my room tonight woot!
I received the envelope with the pen ink and the blog printouts dad, that was awesome. I can't visit any other website besides myldsmail.net so I am glad I have those printouts to get additional information on what is going on with everyone. And the pen ink is perfect, thank you.
I think you asked me if I am writing in my journal mom? The answer is yes, probably too much actually. I am almost half way through the journal you got me. I don't know why I write so much...I just do. I think it is because I want so bad to prove that each day is different from the next, but in reality it is not. But it makes me feel good to think that what I do each day will be remembered...when it really wont be. An excerpt from my journal:
Saturday Sept. 20th, 2008
"It is funny because the most defining feature of today was the conversation I had with E. Perry about today not having any defining features. I literally wont remember anything else about today."
Sad but true. My district is getting really anxious to leave. I am pretty sure we are the worst Portuguese-learning district to ever come through this place, but we are all just so sick of it and after proselyting on Friday we are all really anxious to leave. Proselyting Friday was amazing. We went to the same place as last time (This huge courtyard-like area in the middle of the sitting) but it was awesome. There were just thousands and thousands of people everywhere! Elder Blackham and I had a goal to not poop our pants when we step out of the van and let's just say we accomplished that goal. We also gave out 4 copies of the BoM and about 45 pass-along cards. It was pretty sweet. Sometimes we would both be walking and then all of the sudden both of us would turn right towards a guy without even talking about it and we would start sharing the message with him. We were definitely being led by the spirit and most of our messages were received really well. There was this one guy that looked really intimidating that I really didn't want to talk to but I could not stop from going over and talking to him so I told E. Blackham and we went over there and started talking to the man and he loved the message. He said "So I just call this number and I can get a free book and dvd about Jesus Christ?" Then I said skeptically "Yeah..." and he said "Well why wouldn't I call? That's awesome!" Then he promised to read the book and we left. We had several contacts like that.
We also had some funny stuff happen. One lady we talked to had a friend (who looked slightly like an extremely overweight boar) that she was trying to convince me to get married to...we politely removed ourselves from the conversation. At the very end we were all about to leave and then some...daughter of God that was blessed in certain physically appealing areas...that came up to me and Elder Blackham and asked what we were teaching about. Elder Blackham has way better Portuguese but she told me that I sounded like a Brazilian. I told my Instructor Irmão Magnago about it and he said she was probably just flirting with me. So either I do sound like a Brazi or I still got the fire. I am ok with either one.
Oh yeah and there was a bunch of Jehovah's Witnesses out...our teacher made us stay away from them. Bunch of creepers. All-in-all though it was a sweet experience and it made us all anxious to get out of this place and get to do stuff like that all day.
I hear the US economy is tanking? It's so annoying to not be able to find out information on anything I hear. Update please?
Mom and Dad you are really that serious about moving? I am for it, it will not be before I get home though! I give you permission to move 1 year after I get home...not a minute sooner! I need to make sure my indent on the couch downstairs is still there.
What is this I hear about Scuba class Ryan and Jake???? Jake you said Ryan probably told me about it but he definitely has not yet...why did we not do this when I was home? Or watch One Tree Hill from 11 to 1 everyday? Those would have been highlights of my life! Haha...that's is really funny though.
Sorry no more time, thanks again for writing me. Sounds like nothing has changed back home which is weird to think about because my life has changed so much...just a different place though. Still the same kid who hates most everyone he talks to though, but wont let them know because it's fun to keep secrets. Anyway, I know the gospel is true and that it brings us true happiness. Love and miss you all.
-Elder Brent Parsons
Wow so I received tons of emails this week, which was awesome, but I am definitely not going to have time to respond to everyone. Just know that I am extremely appreciative of all the support I am getting and that I love all of your emails. I have not yet received the package you sent me mom/dad, but it should be here today or tomorrow so I will thank you in advance for it...I have to pay some candy back to some people.
To start off I would just like to announce that Elder Blackham and I as of the trip over here have gone up or down the stairs 400 times since arriving at the CTM. It may not seem like a big deal to you all but you got to take what you can get here. Let's just say there is a small party with little noise and no slang that's going to be happenin' in my room tonight woot!
I received the envelope with the pen ink and the blog printouts dad, that was awesome. I can't visit any other website besides myldsmail.net so I am glad I have those printouts to get additional information on what is going on with everyone. And the pen ink is perfect, thank you.
I think you asked me if I am writing in my journal mom? The answer is yes, probably too much actually. I am almost half way through the journal you got me. I don't know why I write so much...I just do. I think it is because I want so bad to prove that each day is different from the next, but in reality it is not. But it makes me feel good to think that what I do each day will be remembered...when it really wont be. An excerpt from my journal:
Saturday Sept. 20th, 2008
"It is funny because the most defining feature of today was the conversation I had with E. Perry about today not having any defining features. I literally wont remember anything else about today."
Sad but true. My district is getting really anxious to leave. I am pretty sure we are the worst Portuguese-learning district to ever come through this place, but we are all just so sick of it and after proselyting on Friday we are all really anxious to leave. Proselyting Friday was amazing. We went to the same place as last time (This huge courtyard-like area in the middle of the sitting) but it was awesome. There were just thousands and thousands of people everywhere! Elder Blackham and I had a goal to not poop our pants when we step out of the van and let's just say we accomplished that goal. We also gave out 4 copies of the BoM and about 45 pass-along cards. It was pretty sweet. Sometimes we would both be walking and then all of the sudden both of us would turn right towards a guy without even talking about it and we would start sharing the message with him. We were definitely being led by the spirit and most of our messages were received really well. There was this one guy that looked really intimidating that I really didn't want to talk to but I could not stop from going over and talking to him so I told E. Blackham and we went over there and started talking to the man and he loved the message. He said "So I just call this number and I can get a free book and dvd about Jesus Christ?" Then I said skeptically "Yeah..." and he said "Well why wouldn't I call? That's awesome!" Then he promised to read the book and we left. We had several contacts like that.
We also had some funny stuff happen. One lady we talked to had a friend (who looked slightly like an extremely overweight boar) that she was trying to convince me to get married to...we politely removed ourselves from the conversation. At the very end we were all about to leave and then some...daughter of God that was blessed in certain physically appealing areas...that came up to me and Elder Blackham and asked what we were teaching about. Elder Blackham has way better Portuguese but she told me that I sounded like a Brazilian. I told my Instructor Irmão Magnago about it and he said she was probably just flirting with me. So either I do sound like a Brazi or I still got the fire. I am ok with either one.
Oh yeah and there was a bunch of Jehovah's Witnesses out...our teacher made us stay away from them. Bunch of creepers. All-in-all though it was a sweet experience and it made us all anxious to get out of this place and get to do stuff like that all day.
I hear the US economy is tanking? It's so annoying to not be able to find out information on anything I hear. Update please?
Mom and Dad you are really that serious about moving? I am for it, it will not be before I get home though! I give you permission to move 1 year after I get home...not a minute sooner! I need to make sure my indent on the couch downstairs is still there.
What is this I hear about Scuba class Ryan and Jake???? Jake you said Ryan probably told me about it but he definitely has not yet...why did we not do this when I was home? Or watch One Tree Hill from 11 to 1 everyday? Those would have been highlights of my life! Haha...that's is really funny though.
Sorry no more time, thanks again for writing me. Sounds like nothing has changed back home which is weird to think about because my life has changed so much...just a different place though. Still the same kid who hates most everyone he talks to though, but wont let them know because it's fun to keep secrets. Anyway, I know the gospel is true and that it brings us true happiness. Love and miss you all.
-Elder Brent Parsons
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Week Six
Oi!
I attached some pictures to this email and I hope they work. Sadly, we cannot take our cameras out of the CTM while we are here so the only pictures there are are of my district, the view from my window which is to be coveted by everyone at home, and random pics of the CTM. Not much but you might want to see the watered-down Alcatraz for yourself.
Thank you for the emails everyone, I appreciate. I loved the football update Grandpa and Deb I really appreciated it. I will definitely have to get that jersey for you when I get home, I am sorry about that Deb :).
Well, yet another CTM week down. The week was mostly fine, the language is still rough but I can usually understand the gist of whatever anyone says to me...speaking it is a different story though. Our district is getting really close and we have a lot of fun together...possibly too much fun because both of our instructors have talked to us about calming down and to actually start learning or we will never be able understand Portuguese...it's hard to calm down when you have 12 elders together in a tiny classroom though. I love the elders in my district though, we are constantly laughing with each other and trying to forget we are only 1/24 of the way through our missions...
Yesterday was the beginning of our 6th week here, thus we had the privilege to go to the São Paulo temple today not the one in Campinas. I loved the Campinas temple but the 1 and 1/2 hour drive each way was beginning to wear on me and take too much of my precious p-day time. So we went to the São Paulo Temple today (which was amazing, the architecture and stain-glass was awesome) and got back and hour and a half earlier than normal, whoopie!
This week was also a little sad because our AP Elder Bradberry was sent home. He had some things that he needed to take care of that he didn't before he got here and he was having a tough time with homesicknesses. He was awesome and I miss him. We are all proud of him for having the balls to talk to someone about his issues and we are all glad he did the right thing. He will be missed though.
On other news, one kid in my district finally decided to write you Alysha so be expecting a letter. One night my district made me go through everyone in the district and tell them who I would let date you...only 2 of the 11 made the cut and he was one of them. His name is Elder Fabian and he is from Colorado...so good luck with that. I am sure he would love a quick response sweet-cheeks.
This week we get to go proselyting again and we are all really excited. Last time we were all way too afraid to do a lot in the beginning and only got the hang of it near the end, so this time I think it is going to be a lot more fun and productive. Elder Blackham and I are going to try to be a lot more bold in our approaches...I'll let you know how it works out.
Oh yeah I forgot to tell you guys something. I was laying in my bed the other night not able to sleep and was just thinking of what I am going to do after my mission. I was sitting there and then all the sudden it hit me that I need to get a history degree and take it to law school. It was weird because it all the sudden just felt like that was the only thing that I could do with my life...crazy. Anyway, just thought I would let everyone that told me that I wouldn't figure out what to do with my life while on my mission "Screw you!" 3 weeks in and I proved you wrong! Just kidding, I probably wouldn't be so aggressive about it but I would certainly let them know they were wrong but in a politer manner.
Well I will go attach the photos now. Sorry this letter is short and boring, I didn't have a lot of time to write this and I need time to do the photos...and I feel my deep humor wells being drilled for their last juice. I guess I'll just have to go open the Alaskan wells for drilling, who knows what's in there though. Ok...enough stupid analogies that really don't work. Love you all, miss you all, I can't wait to see you guys again...haha. I know this gospel is true and that I am doing the right thing by being out here. Please pray for me because I need it. Farewell!
Love you all,
-Elder Brent Parsons
I attached some pictures to this email and I hope they work. Sadly, we cannot take our cameras out of the CTM while we are here so the only pictures there are are of my district, the view from my window which is to be coveted by everyone at home, and random pics of the CTM. Not much but you might want to see the watered-down Alcatraz for yourself.
Thank you for the emails everyone, I appreciate. I loved the football update Grandpa and Deb I really appreciated it. I will definitely have to get that jersey for you when I get home, I am sorry about that Deb :).
Well, yet another CTM week down. The week was mostly fine, the language is still rough but I can usually understand the gist of whatever anyone says to me...speaking it is a different story though. Our district is getting really close and we have a lot of fun together...possibly too much fun because both of our instructors have talked to us about calming down and to actually start learning or we will never be able understand Portuguese...it's hard to calm down when you have 12 elders together in a tiny classroom though. I love the elders in my district though, we are constantly laughing with each other and trying to forget we are only 1/24 of the way through our missions...
Yesterday was the beginning of our 6th week here, thus we had the privilege to go to the São Paulo temple today not the one in Campinas. I loved the Campinas temple but the 1 and 1/2 hour drive each way was beginning to wear on me and take too much of my precious p-day time. So we went to the São Paulo Temple today (which was amazing, the architecture and stain-glass was awesome) and got back and hour and a half earlier than normal, whoopie!
This week was also a little sad because our AP Elder Bradberry was sent home. He had some things that he needed to take care of that he didn't before he got here and he was having a tough time with homesicknesses. He was awesome and I miss him. We are all proud of him for having the balls to talk to someone about his issues and we are all glad he did the right thing. He will be missed though.
On other news, one kid in my district finally decided to write you Alysha so be expecting a letter. One night my district made me go through everyone in the district and tell them who I would let date you...only 2 of the 11 made the cut and he was one of them. His name is Elder Fabian and he is from Colorado...so good luck with that. I am sure he would love a quick response sweet-cheeks.
This week we get to go proselyting again and we are all really excited. Last time we were all way too afraid to do a lot in the beginning and only got the hang of it near the end, so this time I think it is going to be a lot more fun and productive. Elder Blackham and I are going to try to be a lot more bold in our approaches...I'll let you know how it works out.
Oh yeah I forgot to tell you guys something. I was laying in my bed the other night not able to sleep and was just thinking of what I am going to do after my mission. I was sitting there and then all the sudden it hit me that I need to get a history degree and take it to law school. It was weird because it all the sudden just felt like that was the only thing that I could do with my life...crazy. Anyway, just thought I would let everyone that told me that I wouldn't figure out what to do with my life while on my mission "Screw you!" 3 weeks in and I proved you wrong! Just kidding, I probably wouldn't be so aggressive about it but I would certainly let them know they were wrong but in a politer manner.
Well I will go attach the photos now. Sorry this letter is short and boring, I didn't have a lot of time to write this and I need time to do the photos...and I feel my deep humor wells being drilled for their last juice. I guess I'll just have to go open the Alaskan wells for drilling, who knows what's in there though. Ok...enough stupid analogies that really don't work. Love you all, miss you all, I can't wait to see you guys again...haha. I know this gospel is true and that I am doing the right thing by being out here. Please pray for me because I need it. Farewell!
Love you all,
-Elder Brent Parsons
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Alysha is the worst!
Oiven Gloiven!
First off, I am going to interpret the email rule a little bit differently. It is ok if I receive emails from everyone, I just have to email back through my parents. So you dont have to email through my parents anymore. The rules aren't really specific on that, I was just being careful but I know now that it is fine if you guys email me. This means that I want to hear from people! Just email me at this address (BrentParsons@myldsmail.net). It has been about a month there has to be at least 1 interesting thing that has happened since then (except Jake, Jake is exempt because I know nothing exciting happens in his life. Just kidding, I want to hear from you man. Are you playing this semester).
Oh yeah, and could someone send me a weekly college football update? Nothing huge, just any big upsets and of course all the BYU and Utah football scores. Please?
Alysha you are still the worst. Besides Ben. But that goes without saying.
Oh yeah, the day the missionties emails come is Saturday, not Wednesday. I think they realized how stupid it was to have all our letters come the day after P-Day. Go Warden!
Speaking of the warden...CTM life is as dull as usual. Ok it is not that bad but it is just so extremely repetitive. Do they understand that we literally sit in the same classroom, at the same desk, next to the same people, listening to the same teacher, failing to speak another language, and wear the same clothes for over eight hours a day? Do they understand that we tell our teacher that we have to go the bathroom every 40 minutes or so just because we need a break from the musty-must fest that is our classroom? Do they understand that we actually look forward to "borrowing" a rock from the plant pot in the lunchroom to put on our windowsill outside of our classroom window just to have something to live for each day? I don't think they do. But it happens :).
I forgot to tell you last week that we were going to get a break from the usual last Friday. So in everyone's fourth week here they get to go outside and go proselyting. So we all memorized our portuguese "street contact" and hopped in a crowded van and drove through the crowded streets of São Paulo to the very center, which is where they dropped us all off and said "you have three hours. Here are two copies of the Book of Mormon for each of you and 15 pass-along cards. Go." So we went. It ended up being awesome though. Elder Blackham and I (who is pretty terrified of the huge city and, well...people in general) took a while to get started. We walked around forever in the horde of people trying to get some courage to talk to someone...courage that was not found for about half an hour when we found this park where a bunch of people were sitting. So I told the young, frightened Blackham that I would break the ice by introducing us and telling them we have a message for them, then he would give them the message. He agreed to that. So we walked up to a guy sitting and I introduced us (the man looked like he had never seen two white kids in the same place in his entire life) then Elder Blackham gave the message and did really well. His portuguese is probably ten times better than mine so if he was not quite so scared to talk to people, he would be one of the best missionaries. So anyway, the guy was not very interested so we just gave him a pass-along card and I told him to call. I am pretty sure my portuguese was horrific, but he acted like he understood so that was good at least.
So after walking past a few prostitutes leaning against a garage (I guess prime whoring time is at 2:30 in the afternoon?) we found another guy sitting on some steps so we decided to go talk to him. I introduced us again and then E. Blackham gave the message. The guy was actually pretty interested so we gave him a Book of Mormon and asked him to read it and I think he might read the whole. We saw him an hour later and he was still reading it, it was way cool.
We got shot down a few times but the Brazilian people are really the nicest people I have ever met in my life. They are always laughing and smiling and even when we could tell they wanted nothing to do with our church they still listened to our message and politely told us they were not interested. It was a really good experience for my companion and I and our whole district. We all came back and realized we pretty much know nothing of the Portuguese language though, which is good because it will probably give us a new drive to try harder.
Speaking of the Brazilian people, I don't know if I have said much about our two Brazilian roommates who have lived with the four of us (Me, Blackham, Smith, and Phillips) for the last three weeks. They are so cool and I really think that I would have been best friends with one of them (Isikawa) had we not grown up thousands of miles apart. We would stay up late and just try to communicate with each other about everything, him in his broken English that he learned in high school, and my four-week old Portuguese. Unfortunately Brazi's only stay here for three weeks so Isikawa and Oliveira left this morning. It was hard to say goodbye to them last night but it was also really fun because there were 12 Brazi's leaving in the morning so we had a sort of goodbye party for them which mostly just involved a large amount of screaming on their part and many "que's?" (what?) from the Americans who had no idea what was going on. It was actually really fun though and I will miss all of them.
On to more not-so-gay-and-sentimental news, I found out last night that one of the American Elders in my Branch (Elder Thompson) who is leaving tomorrow is The Parker's cousin! Yes, the one and only Kyle "Jester" Parker's cousin. It was hilarious to find out. He also knows a bunch of guys on the BYU lax team and he was at all our home games.
Oh yeah mom you asked me what you could send to me. I don't really need anything, but if I were to WANT a few things they would be:
1. A big pack of orange tic tacs (we can't chew gum in the CTM so the constant wreak of teenage breath puts a thin film of disgust on everything)
2. Breath mints because orange tic tacs are just candy to me
3. Peachie Oh's. Dont ask why I dont know.
4. Maybe new ink for my pen dad? I still am not sure what is up with that.
5. A scandalous photo of Samuel L. Jackson so I can prove to everyone that he is indeed my friend.
6. 4 or so new pairs of black socks from MissionaryMall
7. Any food or candy is welcomed. Candy is better than money in this place. Candy allows you to buy your way out of anything.
8. Letters
9. More mouthwash
10. A midget (potty-trained). I need someone to fight off all the Brazilians who like to hit me to prove they can beat up a white kid that's bigger than them.
I will leave it up to you, mom, to decipher from that list what you think I really might need.
A couple quotes from the week:
1. Elder Korth: "I used to play Pretty Princess and I ALWAYS won."
2. Irmão Magnago (My afternoon instructor and we weren't paying attention so he said in his accented-english): "I am growing nuts!" (meant to say "going nuts!", which just set off another bout of inattention).
3. Elder Korth: "I am so disappointed in this meal! I feel like an orphan in Bangledesh."
There are more but I dont have much time, and I can tell you would have to be there for most the quotes to be funny, but even mild humor is a cause for extreme laughter in the CTM.
So we get to go out in the yard (gym) three times a week and I won't lie, my basketball skills are improving. I personally upgraded myself from retard to just slightly autistic.
Anyway, that's all my time. I try hard to make full use of my 45 minutes of email time but I am running out of ideas of what to talk about. I will keep doing what I can but is there something that you guys want to know about that I am not talking about? Just tell me if there is.
I love you guys and I am grateful for all the support you give me. Thank you for the letters mom, dad, G&G, karrissa, ryan, alysha, tasha and anyone else who has written me. I appreciate it. I am doing my best not to think about you guys but it is really hard sometimes, I miss you all so much. Only 23 more months right? Well, I'll see you then.
-Elder Brent Parsons
First off, I am going to interpret the email rule a little bit differently. It is ok if I receive emails from everyone, I just have to email back through my parents. So you dont have to email through my parents anymore. The rules aren't really specific on that, I was just being careful but I know now that it is fine if you guys email me. This means that I want to hear from people! Just email me at this address (BrentParsons@myldsmail.net). It has been about a month there has to be at least 1 interesting thing that has happened since then (except Jake, Jake is exempt because I know nothing exciting happens in his life. Just kidding, I want to hear from you man. Are you playing this semester).
Oh yeah, and could someone send me a weekly college football update? Nothing huge, just any big upsets and of course all the BYU and Utah football scores. Please?
Alysha you are still the worst. Besides Ben. But that goes without saying.
Oh yeah, the day the missionties emails come is Saturday, not Wednesday. I think they realized how stupid it was to have all our letters come the day after P-Day. Go Warden!
Speaking of the warden...CTM life is as dull as usual. Ok it is not that bad but it is just so extremely repetitive. Do they understand that we literally sit in the same classroom, at the same desk, next to the same people, listening to the same teacher, failing to speak another language, and wear the same clothes for over eight hours a day? Do they understand that we tell our teacher that we have to go the bathroom every 40 minutes or so just because we need a break from the musty-must fest that is our classroom? Do they understand that we actually look forward to "borrowing" a rock from the plant pot in the lunchroom to put on our windowsill outside of our classroom window just to have something to live for each day? I don't think they do. But it happens :).
I forgot to tell you last week that we were going to get a break from the usual last Friday. So in everyone's fourth week here they get to go outside and go proselyting. So we all memorized our portuguese "street contact" and hopped in a crowded van and drove through the crowded streets of São Paulo to the very center, which is where they dropped us all off and said "you have three hours. Here are two copies of the Book of Mormon for each of you and 15 pass-along cards. Go." So we went. It ended up being awesome though. Elder Blackham and I (who is pretty terrified of the huge city and, well...people in general) took a while to get started. We walked around forever in the horde of people trying to get some courage to talk to someone...courage that was not found for about half an hour when we found this park where a bunch of people were sitting. So I told the young, frightened Blackham that I would break the ice by introducing us and telling them we have a message for them, then he would give them the message. He agreed to that. So we walked up to a guy sitting and I introduced us (the man looked like he had never seen two white kids in the same place in his entire life) then Elder Blackham gave the message and did really well. His portuguese is probably ten times better than mine so if he was not quite so scared to talk to people, he would be one of the best missionaries. So anyway, the guy was not very interested so we just gave him a pass-along card and I told him to call. I am pretty sure my portuguese was horrific, but he acted like he understood so that was good at least.
So after walking past a few prostitutes leaning against a garage (I guess prime whoring time is at 2:30 in the afternoon?) we found another guy sitting on some steps so we decided to go talk to him. I introduced us again and then E. Blackham gave the message. The guy was actually pretty interested so we gave him a Book of Mormon and asked him to read it and I think he might read the whole. We saw him an hour later and he was still reading it, it was way cool.
We got shot down a few times but the Brazilian people are really the nicest people I have ever met in my life. They are always laughing and smiling and even when we could tell they wanted nothing to do with our church they still listened to our message and politely told us they were not interested. It was a really good experience for my companion and I and our whole district. We all came back and realized we pretty much know nothing of the Portuguese language though, which is good because it will probably give us a new drive to try harder.
Speaking of the Brazilian people, I don't know if I have said much about our two Brazilian roommates who have lived with the four of us (Me, Blackham, Smith, and Phillips) for the last three weeks. They are so cool and I really think that I would have been best friends with one of them (Isikawa) had we not grown up thousands of miles apart. We would stay up late and just try to communicate with each other about everything, him in his broken English that he learned in high school, and my four-week old Portuguese. Unfortunately Brazi's only stay here for three weeks so Isikawa and Oliveira left this morning. It was hard to say goodbye to them last night but it was also really fun because there were 12 Brazi's leaving in the morning so we had a sort of goodbye party for them which mostly just involved a large amount of screaming on their part and many "que's?" (what?) from the Americans who had no idea what was going on. It was actually really fun though and I will miss all of them.
On to more not-so-gay-and-sentimental news, I found out last night that one of the American Elders in my Branch (Elder Thompson) who is leaving tomorrow is The Parker's cousin! Yes, the one and only Kyle "Jester" Parker's cousin. It was hilarious to find out. He also knows a bunch of guys on the BYU lax team and he was at all our home games.
Oh yeah mom you asked me what you could send to me. I don't really need anything, but if I were to WANT a few things they would be:
1. A big pack of orange tic tacs (we can't chew gum in the CTM so the constant wreak of teenage breath puts a thin film of disgust on everything)
2. Breath mints because orange tic tacs are just candy to me
3. Peachie Oh's. Dont ask why I dont know.
4. Maybe new ink for my pen dad? I still am not sure what is up with that.
5. A scandalous photo of Samuel L. Jackson so I can prove to everyone that he is indeed my friend.
6. 4 or so new pairs of black socks from MissionaryMall
7. Any food or candy is welcomed. Candy is better than money in this place. Candy allows you to buy your way out of anything.
8. Letters
9. More mouthwash
10. A midget (potty-trained). I need someone to fight off all the Brazilians who like to hit me to prove they can beat up a white kid that's bigger than them.
I will leave it up to you, mom, to decipher from that list what you think I really might need.
A couple quotes from the week:
1. Elder Korth: "I used to play Pretty Princess and I ALWAYS won."
2. Irmão Magnago (My afternoon instructor and we weren't paying attention so he said in his accented-english): "I am growing nuts!" (meant to say "going nuts!", which just set off another bout of inattention).
3. Elder Korth: "I am so disappointed in this meal! I feel like an orphan in Bangledesh."
There are more but I dont have much time, and I can tell you would have to be there for most the quotes to be funny, but even mild humor is a cause for extreme laughter in the CTM.
So we get to go out in the yard (gym) three times a week and I won't lie, my basketball skills are improving. I personally upgraded myself from retard to just slightly autistic.
Anyway, that's all my time. I try hard to make full use of my 45 minutes of email time but I am running out of ideas of what to talk about. I will keep doing what I can but is there something that you guys want to know about that I am not talking about? Just tell me if there is.
I love you guys and I am grateful for all the support you give me. Thank you for the letters mom, dad, G&G, karrissa, ryan, alysha, tasha and anyone else who has written me. I appreciate it. I am doing my best not to think about you guys but it is really hard sometimes, I miss you all so much. Only 23 more months right? Well, I'll see you then.
-Elder Brent Parsons
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Greetings...!
Man I would rather be chastised for not being a good enough example of a 'leader' to my district by the CTM Doctor (again) than try to think of things to say in my emails.
Just kidding, but it really is hard to think of things. And that really did happen. It was a horrible experience. The CTM Doctor is named Elder Linford and is probably the person I respect most in the CTM and has the a narrating voice that would put Morgan Freeman's work in "March of the Penguins" to shame. So there he is, telling me that I wasn't being enough of a leader and that my district "needs some work". I seriously was on the verge of tears and if it were not for all the other district leaders in my branch staring at me with their un-sympathetic eyes, the tears would have flown (how's that for a funny image?). In my defense I do have the largest district in the CTM and some of the most disobedient elders that don't even want to be here. But I do need to take more control.
Oh yeah I started a "CTM Quote Book" this week. Mostly just to have something to do and to remember the funny things that are said amongst the hours of boredom. It is mostly filled with quotes from one of the funnier kids I have ever met named Elder Korth. He is in my district and lived in Idaho. Some sample quotes:
1. Elder Perry: "Sister Pereira, why do you act so Brazilian?"
Sister Pereira (my teacher): "Because I was born here!"
Elder Korth: (Yells this at her in class) "That still doesn't make it right!"
2. Elder Korth: "My nose is not big! It's majestic."
There are some more but I don't have time to write them. He is really funny though and keeps me sane.
Oh I don't know if I told you but we get to go to the temple in Campinas every P-day. It is sweet! We have to wake up at 5:30 in order to get there on time but I actually look forward to the hour and a half ride on the bus (each way) because we get to take a good nap...naps are sacred things in the CTM and you don't miss a nap when you get the chance to take one. So our P-day mornings from 5:30 to about 12:00 are spent traveling to the temple, doing a session, and traveling back. Oh the bus ride there is awesome too because you get to see a lot of São Paulo. Some parts are so poor and the a lot of the time people are just living in a broken down car or a tent made out of a tarp at the freeway exits. Pretty sad.
Oh yeah I got your package yesterday dad. So it looks like it will take about two weeks to get here? Thank you for everything in there it was awesome I really appreciate it. My district looked through all the pictures just because it was something to do and liked them. You sent me those two replacement ink cartridges for my pen also...but unfortunately they are too big to fit in my pen. I tried and I had a bunch of my guys in my district try to figure it out but they are just too big. I looked for a model number or something on my cartridge but there is nothing there. The only words/numbers my pen has on it is on the outside and it just says "MontBlanc Meisterstuck". That probably wont help though. It's ok though, I was going to go get it filled but we cant travel too far from the CTM and the only stationary store within the boundaries doesn't fill them. I dont know much portuguese though so maybe they do...I will ask them later when I know more.
Oh yeah, Alysha...you know how I try not to boost your confidence in anyway I can, but all the guys in my district saw your picture in my album and refer to you as "Parsons' hot sister". Sorry Karrissa, They thought you were too but you are married so they don't pay much attention. And they don't know how pretty you are on the inside! Haha. Anyway I told them you were sixteen and to stay away but they don't care. I think a couple of them are going to start writing you...and they are dead serious unfortunately. So you may get some emails or letters from some creepy gentlemen soon but don't be alarmed, they really are completely harmless.
The language is coming...ok. Still really frustrating. I can have small, and I mean really small, conversations now. We just got a new teacher because our night teacher Sister Pereira is taking her mandatory month vacation that all workers in Brazil get (for every year of work you do in Brazil your employer has to give you a fully paid + 33% extra month vacation. It is crazy). So she just left and we got a new teacher, sadly I cant even remember his name right now. But he barely speaks any English so it is so hard because he expects us all to speak Portuguese to him and we are like we have only been here 3 weeks please give us a break. So that is frustrating.
Oh to answer your question Karrissa, we teach "live investigators" starting in our 6th week I think. Right now we just practice companionship to companionship then we are "tested" at the end of each week by a few of the instructors here. Elder Blackham and I are pretty good together. I am pretty sure he can be labeled as a scriptorian because he knows the scriptures backwards and forwards. It is unbelievable. So he convinces them of why they should believe us and I am there as comic relief and occasionally to get teary-eyed when I bear my testimony just so they know that I believe what I am saying. Yeah I am useless.
I will write you an excerpt from my journal:
Anyway, that is a good place to end on I guess. Thank you to everyone who wrote me. I am sorry I cant reply to everyone but once I get out of here I promise I will write everyone individually, it's just a huge hassle to do that. Oh and Ryan, I want to hear about Moses Lake from you and how your classes are. Anyway, I love you all and miss you tons. I know what I am doing is the right thing to do though and that the gospel is true. Peace!
-Brent Parsons
Man I would rather be chastised for not being a good enough example of a 'leader' to my district by the CTM Doctor (again) than try to think of things to say in my emails.
Just kidding, but it really is hard to think of things. And that really did happen. It was a horrible experience. The CTM Doctor is named Elder Linford and is probably the person I respect most in the CTM and has the a narrating voice that would put Morgan Freeman's work in "March of the Penguins" to shame. So there he is, telling me that I wasn't being enough of a leader and that my district "needs some work". I seriously was on the verge of tears and if it were not for all the other district leaders in my branch staring at me with their un-sympathetic eyes, the tears would have flown (how's that for a funny image?). In my defense I do have the largest district in the CTM and some of the most disobedient elders that don't even want to be here. But I do need to take more control.
Oh yeah I started a "CTM Quote Book" this week. Mostly just to have something to do and to remember the funny things that are said amongst the hours of boredom. It is mostly filled with quotes from one of the funnier kids I have ever met named Elder Korth. He is in my district and lived in Idaho. Some sample quotes:
1. Elder Perry: "Sister Pereira, why do you act so Brazilian?"
Sister Pereira (my teacher): "Because I was born here!"
Elder Korth: (Yells this at her in class) "That still doesn't make it right!"
2. Elder Korth: "My nose is not big! It's majestic."
There are some more but I don't have time to write them. He is really funny though and keeps me sane.
Oh I don't know if I told you but we get to go to the temple in Campinas every P-day. It is sweet! We have to wake up at 5:30 in order to get there on time but I actually look forward to the hour and a half ride on the bus (each way) because we get to take a good nap...naps are sacred things in the CTM and you don't miss a nap when you get the chance to take one. So our P-day mornings from 5:30 to about 12:00 are spent traveling to the temple, doing a session, and traveling back. Oh the bus ride there is awesome too because you get to see a lot of São Paulo. Some parts are so poor and the a lot of the time people are just living in a broken down car or a tent made out of a tarp at the freeway exits. Pretty sad.
Oh yeah I got your package yesterday dad. So it looks like it will take about two weeks to get here? Thank you for everything in there it was awesome I really appreciate it. My district looked through all the pictures just because it was something to do and liked them. You sent me those two replacement ink cartridges for my pen also...but unfortunately they are too big to fit in my pen. I tried and I had a bunch of my guys in my district try to figure it out but they are just too big. I looked for a model number or something on my cartridge but there is nothing there. The only words/numbers my pen has on it is on the outside and it just says "MontBlanc Meisterstuck". That probably wont help though. It's ok though, I was going to go get it filled but we cant travel too far from the CTM and the only stationary store within the boundaries doesn't fill them. I dont know much portuguese though so maybe they do...I will ask them later when I know more.
Oh yeah, Alysha...you know how I try not to boost your confidence in anyway I can, but all the guys in my district saw your picture in my album and refer to you as "Parsons' hot sister". Sorry Karrissa, They thought you were too but you are married so they don't pay much attention. And they don't know how pretty you are on the inside! Haha. Anyway I told them you were sixteen and to stay away but they don't care. I think a couple of them are going to start writing you...and they are dead serious unfortunately. So you may get some emails or letters from some creepy gentlemen soon but don't be alarmed, they really are completely harmless.
The language is coming...ok. Still really frustrating. I can have small, and I mean really small, conversations now. We just got a new teacher because our night teacher Sister Pereira is taking her mandatory month vacation that all workers in Brazil get (for every year of work you do in Brazil your employer has to give you a fully paid + 33% extra month vacation. It is crazy). So she just left and we got a new teacher, sadly I cant even remember his name right now. But he barely speaks any English so it is so hard because he expects us all to speak Portuguese to him and we are like we have only been here 3 weeks please give us a break. So that is frustrating.
Oh to answer your question Karrissa, we teach "live investigators" starting in our 6th week I think. Right now we just practice companionship to companionship then we are "tested" at the end of each week by a few of the instructors here. Elder Blackham and I are pretty good together. I am pretty sure he can be labeled as a scriptorian because he knows the scriptures backwards and forwards. It is unbelievable. So he convinces them of why they should believe us and I am there as comic relief and occasionally to get teary-eyed when I bear my testimony just so they know that I believe what I am saying. Yeah I am useless.
I will write you an excerpt from my journal:
"There is far too much male to male contact going on in this place, and sadly, I am not exempt from that statement. Massages, hugs, and longer-than-necessary hanshakes are commonplace among the missionaries of the CTM, notably my district. We all are obviously missing home, and especially women, and the only thing we have here are our fellow district members that we spend all but an hour and a half or so of our waking moments with throughout the day. We begin to be very comfortable, nay dangerously comfortable with one another. Whatever helps you get through the two years right?"A joke obviously, but there is too much truth to that
Anyway, that is a good place to end on I guess. Thank you to everyone who wrote me. I am sorry I cant reply to everyone but once I get out of here I promise I will write everyone individually, it's just a huge hassle to do that. Oh and Ryan, I want to hear about Moses Lake from you and how your classes are. Anyway, I love you all and miss you tons. I know what I am doing is the right thing to do though and that the gospel is true. Peace!
-Brent Parsons
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